MISTER FAT AND THE LITTLE SKINNIES
By Matt Beckham
5/31/04


     Once upon a time, really before there was time, at really the beginning of time, there was a great garden, where grew everything and lived everyone.  Every flower sprouted from the garden, every tree stretched out it's limbs to shade the grass of the garden floor.  Every living thing that lived at that time lived in the beauty of the garden.
     Over in one corner of the garden grew a great many red flowers, and they grew bigger and brighter and more beautiful than any flowers grown today.  They reached to the sky, and were covered in endless foliage of leaves.  It was here where thrived the first ever colony of caterpillars, and they made their nests up among the flowers, but never in the petals, because they understood and respected beauty then, and they never ate too much.
     There was one caterpillar who had been living in the garden longer than everyone else ( that is to say, he had lived there longer than the other caterpillars.  In truth, when at last the Gardener made caterpillars, he had already made a great many things, such as leeches and snails and dogs. )  This caterpillar, the oldest caterpillar, was very plump, and he lived near the base of the biggest flower in the plot.  Which suited him just fine, because it meant less climbing to get home, and it meant that, at sunset, after a hard day's work of eating, he could rest at the base of his flower and watch the Little Skinnies run by in a line.

He called them Little Skinnies because that is what they were to him.  They called him Mister Fat.  That's exactly what he was to them.  This was back before insults, and neither party minded the name calling in the least.  What the Little Skinnies were, in fact, were a very different type of insect, each one small yet a maddeningly large number of them, who had hard little red bodies and seemed to be in a hurry everywhere.  They ran in a line, and they were very busy, and they always seemed to be carrying something of some sort in their sharp little pincher teeth.  But every sunset, when the day shift was over and the night workers were finishing up whatever job they had to do, there was Mister Fat, sitting right next to the line, watching them contently.
Many of the Little Skinnies knew Mister Fat pretty well, and every once in a while one would run by who would slow down just long enough to wave and shout "Hey, Mister Fat!"  And mister fat would nod and wink, because caterpillars aren't much good at waving.  When they'd pass back by, with a seed or blade of grass in their mouths, they wouldn't slow down or wave, but many of them mumbled "Hney, Miffer Fat.  Hev a gnood night."  And Mister Fat would laugh and nod and wink at the funny little Little Skinnies.
     There was one Little Skinny who knew Mister Fat very well.  He was a rather high ranking official in the Little Skinny rungs of power, and he could afford to walk up and stand next to Mister Fat, and they'd chat while the little pawns ran by.  Mister Fat was not very knowledgable in the Little Skinny line of command, but he was knowledgable in the game of chess, and seeing as how this particular little one was rather prestegious, he concluded that he must be something along the lines of a bishop or a rook.  He refered to him as such, but he often times got confused, he was rather old, and some nights he'd call him rook and some nights he'd call him bishop, and the Little Skinny didn't seem to care at all.  In fact it was something of a game to the Skinny, and whenever Mister Fat called him Rook, he called him Mister Fat, and whenever he called him Bishop, Bishop called him Brother Large.
Rook and Mister Fat talked about all sorts of things, and one night, the topic of it was some rumors that had been circulating around the garden.

*****

     "Good evening, Rook." said Mister Fat as he climbed down his flower stalk, a bit surprised to find his friend waiting for him.
     "Evening, Mister Fat.  How's life on the stalk?" asked Rook.
     "It's a bit slow, a bit slow.  Things slow down after a while, don't they, Bishop?"
     "That they do, Brother Large, that they do." said Rook, who at the time was Bishop, looking idly at the line of Little Skinnies as it shuffled by.  The sun began to set, and another undescribable sunset began to fall over the garden.  ( Sunsets were definately much better back then, because in truth, everything was.)  "Say, Large, you heard about them Humans?  They're getting aweful close to messing things up for everyone."
     "Aye, I've heard..." said Mister Fat, inching down beside Rook.  The fact is that it was surprising that Mister Fat had heard, because most of the current news didn't make it up the flower stalks.  Usually Mister Fat heard about things from Rook, and the next day the other caterpillars would all learn about it from Mister Fat.  "But I don't expect anything really bad to come of it.  Nobody's ever done anything the Gardener didn't like on purpose."
     "True, true..." said Rook.  "But I wonder, what'll happen if they do?"
     "You mean the Humans?" asked Mister Fat.
     "Hey Mister Fat!"
     Nod, wink.
     Rook gave the other Skinny a hard look that sent him scurrying back into line, then turned back to Mister Fat.  "Anybody, Fat.  What'll happen if anybody does anything the Gardener doesn't like?"
     "Ohhhh..." sighed Mister Fat.  "I imagine a little punishment for the guy who does it, but nothing serious.  The Gardener seems fair about things."
     "Have you ever seen it--punishment, that is?" asked Rook.  "You've been here a while longer than me."  (Mister Fat was made fifty three bugs before the Little Skinnies.)
     "No, m'boy, nothing like that.  At least, not that I remember, and I'd remember something like that."
     The sun was halfway down now, and the Little Skinnies' line was probably somewhere near it's end.
     "I'm just worried, that's all.  I don't want one guy messing things up for everybody." said Rook, looking tiresomely at the hole where the line came and went.
     "I just said, Rook..." yawned Mister Fat.  "The Gardener wouldn't let that happen.  Bad things don't happen outside of stories."
     "Hney, Miffer Fat.  Hev a gnood night!"
     "Ha ha ha!  See you tommorow, son!"  Nod, wink.
     "Yeah..." said Rook after a minute.  "I guess you're right."
     "Of course I am.  I'm old." said Mister Fat.  They both chuckled, but neither of them really laughed.
     "Well, that's near the end of the line.  Better be off."
     "I'd better get home, too.  I've got a lot of eating to do tomorrow."
     "Just don't chop the whole flower down." said Rook.  It was routine to say that.
     It was routine, also, for Mister Fat to respond with "And don't you hide the whole world down in that hole of your's!"
     They laughed again, good times, good times, but as Mister Fat was inching away, and Rook was getting ready to speed off, Mister Fat turned and said "Y'know, I'd still like to see it down there some time, but I'm just too big to fit."
     Rook looked back, and caught a glimpse of sadness in Mister Fat's eyes.  "Maybe we'll figure something out tomorrow.  Widen the tunnels or something." he said.  The sun finished setting.  Another of the Little Skinnies, the last one in the line, turned and waved at Rook to hurry, then dissappeared into the ground.
     "Or find some way to make me smaller!" joked Mister Fat, breaking into one of his roaring laughs.  They parted ways, laughing, and the sky turned ever darker.

*****

     The next day was a beautiful day in the garden, and Mister Fat found it hard to focus.  When that happened, he went very high up the flower, because the leaves were sweeter there, closer to the sun, and it was easier when the food tasted better.  After he got up there, he began to enjoy himself, and rather lost track of time, daydreaming and such, not even paying any attention to the other going ons of the garden.  When at last he looked up and stopped imagining what fun it would be with Rook down in his hole, he saw that the sun had already begun to set.
      In a hurry, he began down the stalk, but stopped halfway.  Down on the ground there was growing a new flower, and he was almost certain he hadn't seen the Gardener come by all day to plant it.  Furthermore, as he got lower, he saw that this was most certainly an entirely new type of flower, because he'd never seen the likes of it before.  It was yellow and fuzzy and the leaves and stem were scratchy, and he was not enjoying the strange feeling he was getting from this new plant.
     And, hello, what's this?  This wasn't here before.  It was some new sprout coming out from his stalk, and he was happy he'd noticed it in time, because it looked like it could be rather painful to run into, all sharp and red.  These were wierd things, and he'd have to tell Rook about them.  The sun was sinking fast, so he hurried on, not stopping at home, and just went straight to his favorite thing, watching the Little Skinnies.
     Who were waiting for him!  There they were, in their line, but it was stopped, and they seemed to all be staring at him.  No, not all of them, some of them looked away.  They all seemed rather sad, but he suspected a hidden anger or something of the like in their eyes.  Rook stepped out from the solemn crowd, and walked right up to the massive caterpillar's front.
     "What's all this?" asked Mister Fat, wondering why some of the Little Skinnies still wouldn't look at him, and they seemed to cringe when he spoke.
     "I really wish you wouldn't have come down here, sir." said Rook, very solemn, very hard.  His voice held no emotion, and dripped with remorse.
     "Why ever would you not want me to come down here?" asked Mister Fat.  "I personally enjoyed our conversations all this time."
He recognized many of them, but he was not met with any "Hey Mister Fat"'s.
     "Then I suppose you haven't heard..." said Rook.  "News gets to you so slowly... I guess I should explain."
     Troops of the Little Skinnies where stampedeing up the other stalks of the flowers now, up toward the homes of the other caterpillars.  "Is there going to be a party of some sort?  Was it meant to be a surprise?  Oh, now I've gone and ruined the surprise."
     "No, Fat, it's the humans." said Rook with a sigh.  Had he have had lips, they'd have trembled.  "They've gone and done it.  They've..."
"No..." said Mister Fat.
     "They've sinned, Fat.  They've done just what the Gardener said not to."
     "Then they're punished?" asked Fat.  "Poor bloates..."
     "It's not just them.  Things have changed for everyone, Mister Fat, everyone's different now."
     "I don't seem different." said Mister Fat.  His thoughts drifted to the new flower in the ground and the sharp point on his flower.
     "I'm afraid..." said Rook, with a catch in his throat.  "It's not just seeds for us Little guys anymore, Mister Fat."
     "What else is there?  Are you going to start eating leaves with me?" asked Mister Fat.  The sun was near down.  The garden was loud all around, and there seemed to be clammer up above in the flowertops, but Mister Fat just stared hard at Rook.  He didn't really even notice the other Little Skinnies surrounding him.
     "We eat other things now." said Rook.  "...other things."
     One of the Little Skinnies threw himself on Mister Fat, and for a minute, the Skinny didn't know what to do.  So he just stood there on that caterpillar's massive back, and Mister Fat began to chuckle.
"I say, what's this got to do with tickling me?"
     More of the Little Skinnies climbed onto Mister Fat's body, and he was laughing now, and it seemed like he was laughing so hard at their tickling him that it began to hurt.
     It really began to hurt.
     "It's not fair, Mister Fat." whipsered Rook.  "How the humans sinned and changed things, and now we have to change, too."
     "Could you guys OW!  Could you move, you're hurting me!" yelled Mister Fat, and now he was beginning to whip around and throw a few of them off.
     "Don't struggle, please, Mister Fat, we just can't help what our new nature is."
     It dawned on Mister Fat.  He could feel them all over him.  He could feel one inside of him.  The pain was more than he thought he could bear, and he rolled over, and he smashed a few of them, but more just kept coming, and he just kept kicking.  "It's not fair!" Mister Fat began crying.  "It's not fair!  We were friends!"
     Rook looked away.  Rooks don't cry.  "You were my best friend, Mister Fat, and no, it's not fair... but our hunger..."
     Mister Fat looked back at himself, and what he saw was a thousand of the Little Skinnies crawling all over him, biting and pulling with their pinch-teeth.  "I loved you!" Mister Fat screamed at the mob.  "I always watched you because I loved you!"
     "You were so proud." said Rook, and he began to tremble.  A little ways away another great green body fell loud to the ground from the flowertops, spraying dust all over, the destroyed body dropping from the heights of the flower covered in a hundred Little Skinnies, screaming and writhing.
     And they were dragging Mister Fat now, down to their hole, down where they all ate.  "You stop to watch the little things, and they just wind up tearing you apart." Rook went on.  "I'm sorry about this."
Mister Fat's vision began to blur, and he realized the pain was leaving and turning to nothing but numbness when one of the Little Ferocious bit into his eye.  He still had his other eye, and he watched as they moved away from the flower and toward the hole.  A messy trail led back to where Rook stood, fully turned to look at him now, while more and more of the Little Skinnies raced up the flowers.  Caterpillar after caterpillar crashed to the ground now, the Little Skinnies who had brought it down spraying off it in the dust.  Behind the flowers that were covered in swarms of red, in the last dying glow of the setting sun, an angel with a flaming sword descended on the garden and began to cut.  Trees fell, leaves burned, thorns tangled their way from the ground.  But all Mister Fat saw was Rook, and that sunset, and he was being torn to pieces.
This isn't fair, thought Mister Fat, I didn't do anything at all to the Gardener.  Rook didn't do anything at all to the Gardener.  The humans sin and we all die?  Don't the humans care about anyone else?  Mister Fat looked back at the Little Skinnies he'd crushed when he'd rolled.  He'd taken a few with him.  How vengeful.
     And Mister Fat was taken down the Skinnies' hole, and he saw the hole, and he was with Rook now, at the end, and the last thing he saw was the night creep in just before they closed off the entrance to the hole and ate his other eye.  The pain was gone, the numb set in, and he could hear Rook nearby.
     Oh well, he was old.  This wasn't so bad.  They'd made him skinny enough to fit in the hole.  But it wasn't the Little Skinnies who'd done that; he had Man to thank for that.